In a blatant attempt to find like-minded people to befriend and to prevent me from sitting at home in the dark drinking my Earl Grey feeling sorry for myself, I have joined a sports team. Not just any sport. It’s Kickball. I can almost hear the deafening silences over the water whilst you try to imagine what that might be. Think Baseball but instead of a bat, you use your foot and instead of a small hard ball you use a big rubber ball. Someone pointed out to me not to worry about the rules (and you all know how I love my rules) as there were exactly like Baseball. Erm, aren’t you forgetting something. Doesn’t this accent give it away slightly. Start Baseball tutorial for Simon! Now, if they had said it was just like cricket then I would have been laughing. So after a brief introduction to the rules of Baseball I entered the field feeling like a semi aquatic animal finding itself away from its watery habitat. Our team is called Kicking it Old Skool!

So the game is played like this. The teams are mixed and there is a minimum number of girls on one team (probably the main selling point for me to be honest). The big rubber ball gets rolled along the floor (no bouncies allowed) and the “pitcher” can put spin on it. The “batter” kicks the ball as far as they can and try to run round the bases to get a run. We play 7 innings each. The team with the most runs at the end wins. Simples!

I have taken one of the team mates’ names as he can no longer play. So they have to call me Dave. I feel like I’m in an Only Fools and Horses episode. “Alright Dave”. “Alright Trig”.

I had my first game a few weeks ago. It was the team’s 4th. I am told that we are in the premier kickball league which we shouldn’t be, which is why the first 3 games didn’t go so well. We won our fourth game and I know what you are thinking – is it a coincidence that when I play we are victorious? Yes, it is a complete coincidence. The other team were in the same situation as us and so it was an even contest which we won 5-3. However, I did happen to get a run.

It is a very sociable sport. We meet in the bar before hand for some beers and shots. We play. We go back to the bar for more beers and shots. It’s a simple format which is very agreeable for me. I have been introduced to a new bar game. It’s called “Flip Cup”. After my victorious “Beer Pong” exhibitions (for another time perhaps) in my Canadian days I was pretty confident that I could tame the technique of this new-found game. I will try to explain with a little pictorial (picture tutorial):

Start with a cup (it should be plastic but as I don’t have one I’m using one of my glass tumblers. For those of you with a focus on Health & Safety, no glasses were smashed in the making of this pictorial) with a small amount of beer in it. I’m using a strawberry and kiwi juice drink but it is best done with a light beer. Coors lite or Bud lite are preferred, as they are on special at $10 a pitcher.

A half empty glass. No wait, it's half full.

Finish your drink in one. This is called “downing”.

hmmmm, lovely Bud Lite......

Place the cup on the edge of the table so that there is an overhang.

With a plastic cup you get more overhang

With your index finger flick the bottom of the cup so it flips up in the air and lands on its head on the table.

I'm gonna flip ya

Ribbit

Once you have achieved the above the next person in your team follows the same principal as above. But until you “flip the cup” they cannot go. You must keep trying to “flip the cup” until you achieve the above. End pictorial.

Normally you are in 2 teams playing against each other so you need to move swiftly. No faffing about. I haven’t seen a perfect flip cup round where everyone does it first time. That would be a sight to remember for sure…..(Ok, I’m taking this too seriously)

The bad thing about flip cup is that the more you play it the more difficult it becomes as you get more and more drunk. At the end of the night you could be there for ever “flipping the cup” with some very irate team mates in waiting. As a new recruit or rookie as they call them, I was keen to impress. After many, many unsuccessful practices my first “game flip” was a success! Alright, this is easy I thought. The adrenalin of the game flip obviously focused my energies. Or maybe I got lucky. On the second game, not only did I again flip successfully first time but it was a double flip. It flipped twice in the air. People thought I was showing off and I heard someone say “Wow, a double flip! I’ve never seen that before” Oh yes, the Sheriff has entered the arena. I should have just left the bar then and there with the parting words “Gentlemen, ladies. My job here is done”. Alas I didn’t and I showed them that it was all beginners luck as I then struggled through my next ten games.

It is great to be participating in a team sport, regardless of the fact it’s a sport I’ve never played before. I can’t put my finger on it but there is something magical, satisfying, even, about playing competitive sport . I’ve clearly missed that. Kickball will never fill that gap that rugby has left but its a lot better than sitting at home in the dark, drinking Earl Grey.

So I wrote this a while ago and have been waiting for a team photo taken on the victorious game. The picture hasn’t come but maybe I’ll put it up when I get it. Unfortunately that was the only game we won. We didn’t make the play offs needless to say.

The Spring season is over but the Summer season starts in a few weeks and I’ve signed up again! Lets kick it old skool!

Dave